For an assignment at church, Mary and I were asked to write our testimonies in roughly 250 words about serving in the church. This is what we wrote:
Mary wrote:
I haven't met any extremely trying or overwhelming trials in my life; rather I find everyday life to be my real trial. With each new responsibility, child, venture, etc. I become more acutely aware of the areas and ways in which I fall short of who I know I can be. I have found that my greatest struggle is an inner struggle with myself. Consequently, my testimony too has changed from an external understanding and belief in doctrine and principles of the Gospel to a witness of how Heavenly Father truly has a plan for me full of hope and possibilities, because He has provided me with a Savior. I know that whereas I can accomplish very little on my own; all things are possible in Christ. And that helps me to keep trying even when I have failed many times before.
I am very grateful for the opportunities that my husband and I have had to serve in leadership callings that are somewhat “demanding,” because they have been times of expedited growth. I find that the things we have had to learn to incorporate into our lives to sustain a strong, connected marriage and family are principles and practices that we should have already been drawing upon, but we hadn’t because we had never learned how to or we never saw the need for them before. We are learning the importance and the incredible blessings that come of living a purpose driven life.
Jeff wrote:
Ever since my mission I have loved opportunities to serve in the Church and my life and family have been blessed for, and in, that service. Sometimes church responsibilities result in longer days and busier weekends then I would have scheduled for myself. However, I have always appreciated that upon the close of those days or weekends that there is a consistently accompanied assurance that I was doing what the Lord would have me or my family do. Certainly, there is an awareness or reminder of what you could have been doing or what still needs to get done, but it seems that the stuff that needs to get done (yard work, home repairs… honey-do stuff) gets done and that our efforts in doing those more menial, yet necessary tasks, are consecrated by the Lord for putting His kingdom first. At times, I have left my wife and children to serve the Lord with some reluctance in my heart and some sadness on their faces. Yet, I have found that, the Lord compensates me and my family during those times of sacrifice in His behalf, if not immediately in the way we want, certainly in the way we need.
While I cannot enumerate all the blessings that have come from my service in my Father’s Kingdom and to His children, I know that I am happy, I love my life, I love my wife, I love our children, and I love my God.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Apple & Pumpkin Picking 2011
This year for our Halloween pumpkins, we went to Gordon Skagit Farms just west of Mt Vernon. They have a great little place. They have a corn maze (which we skipped due to the wet and blustery weather) as well as a U-Pick apple orchard with apples that were amazingly delicious!
There was no entry cost for any of the stuff and the pumpkins seemed cheaper than others around and the apples were a great price. Plus, the kids enjoyed picking the apples themselves and being able to eat them immediately. Admittedly, we bought too many apples, but we were able to make and preserve some good applesauce out of those that were getting a little soft a couple of months later.
The kids enjoyed picking out their pumpkins, though some of them agonized a little much over which one was "just right". They also enjoyed seeing some of their "giant pumpkins". Overall, they had fun and were grateful to have some "warm" cocoa when they got home. We plan on making this a family tradition each year.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
A Poem for Christmas: From Sarah to Daddy
I received the below poem from Sarah this Christmas. It was her gift to me. She told me many times leading up to Christmas: "Daddy, you're just going to love my present to you!" Mary obviously helped her write it and I'm sure Mary helped her come up with different rhyming words and put things together. But I LOVE IT! It is sitting on a bulletin board of mine at work in my office. It means a lot to me. She drew little pictures of some of the things in the side margins on the one that she gave me. I'm grateful for a daughter that is VERY thoughtful and finds written words and drawn pictures to be very meaningful in her relationships. One of her favorite things to do is to make or write cards for people - all kinds of cards to all kinds of people that she has met. She also loves to draw pictures for other people, something that those who are close to her have probably experienced or witnessed. She has a special, giving heart about her. For example, she has begun fasting with us the last two months on Fast Sunday (she skips one meal - last month she went from dinner Saturday until lunch Sunday... I was impressed!)and both times she has fasted for other people that she has been concerned about or worried about. She is so great. This poem to me represents so much of who I see her to be. I'm glad she's mine and that when she says "Daddy", she talking about me!
MY DADDY
My daddy is the best daddy I know,
He helps me learn as I grow.
He cares about people and animals too,
But sometimes he sneaks up on me and hollers “boo.”
He tickle wrestles me down to the ground.
He doesn’t agree with mommy that we should get a hound.
He wants a smaller dog that will still run around and play.
I bet we can find a perfect one; if we make him out of clay.
Daddy makes moose and dog shadows on the wall.
He hurt his knee playing basketball.
He taught us how to play baseball during the summer.
And he once hit himself in the head with a hammer.
I used to pretend to do it too.
It did make me look a little silly and cuckoo.
I just wanted to be like him,
But he asked me to never do it again.
My nose gets itchy and my eyes water
When I’m around cats, just like my father.
He reads me lots of good books like Nancy and Plum,
And sometimes I catch him chewing gum.
He fixes things up around the house
And he makes me pancakes that look like Mickey Mouse.
He wants a boat to water-ski,
And catch crabs that scare me.
He loves to take vacations in McCall,
And takes me to horse lessons with Brother Hall.
Sometimes he gives me a piggyback ride to bed.
He looks cool with hats on his head.
We like to ride bikes around the cul-de-sac,
And daddy’s really good at scratching my back.
He called mommy from work one day,
And said “hurry, quick, killer whales are coming your way.”
We enjoy taking walks before it gets dark.
We’ve seen a bald eagle and even a baby shark.
My daddy’s really fun, but what I like most about him,
Is that he helps me follow my Father in Heaven.
He teaches me to love and to give,
And he serves wherever we live.
Every Sunday he puts on a white shirt and a tie,
And whispers “be reverent” as the sacrament goes by.
He shares with us his testimony,
And shows us to have courage and honesty.
He takes mommy to the temple and he never forgets to pray.
I sure hope I can be like my daddy some day.
Love,
Sarah
MY DADDY
My daddy is the best daddy I know,
He helps me learn as I grow.
He cares about people and animals too,
But sometimes he sneaks up on me and hollers “boo.”
He tickle wrestles me down to the ground.
He doesn’t agree with mommy that we should get a hound.
He wants a smaller dog that will still run around and play.
I bet we can find a perfect one; if we make him out of clay.
Daddy makes moose and dog shadows on the wall.
He hurt his knee playing basketball.
He taught us how to play baseball during the summer.
And he once hit himself in the head with a hammer.
I used to pretend to do it too.
It did make me look a little silly and cuckoo.
I just wanted to be like him,
But he asked me to never do it again.
My nose gets itchy and my eyes water
When I’m around cats, just like my father.
He reads me lots of good books like Nancy and Plum,
And sometimes I catch him chewing gum.
He fixes things up around the house
And he makes me pancakes that look like Mickey Mouse.
He wants a boat to water-ski,
And catch crabs that scare me.
He loves to take vacations in McCall,
And takes me to horse lessons with Brother Hall.
Sometimes he gives me a piggyback ride to bed.
He looks cool with hats on his head.
We like to ride bikes around the cul-de-sac,
And daddy’s really good at scratching my back.
He called mommy from work one day,
And said “hurry, quick, killer whales are coming your way.”
We enjoy taking walks before it gets dark.
We’ve seen a bald eagle and even a baby shark.
My daddy’s really fun, but what I like most about him,
Is that he helps me follow my Father in Heaven.
He teaches me to love and to give,
And he serves wherever we live.
Every Sunday he puts on a white shirt and a tie,
And whispers “be reverent” as the sacrament goes by.
He shares with us his testimony,
And shows us to have courage and honesty.
He takes mommy to the temple and he never forgets to pray.
I sure hope I can be like my daddy some day.
Love,
Sarah
Monday, January 9, 2012
Halloween 2011
One of the books that we read this year as a family was the Wizard of Oz. The kids really enjoyed it and the book was great. I had never read it and I enjoyed following the storyline and seeing how the things that characters thought they were lacking they actually demonstrated throughout the story. I was impressed that some of the kids caught on to this. Anyway, one of the things we want to different as a family is to be the characters from a book that we have read together for Halloween. So we were the characters from the Wizard of Oz. Sarah was Dorothy, Nathan was the Lion, Jane was Glinda (the "good witch" as she liked to be called), Molly was a Flying Monkey, Mary was the Wicked Witch of the West, and Jeff was the Scarecrow.
A family from church was having a little early Halloween party and the kids enjoyed going to that and seeing a lot of their friends in their Halloween costumes and doing some little activities.
We participated in our towns trick or treating event which consisted of all the shops along the downtown area staying open and handing out candy. There were also bouncy houses and some free food as well. There was also a community trunk or treat. It was great but a little crazy with the amount of people that were there. We have typically participated in a trunk or treat through our church, but we enjoyed participating with the local community since our ward here wasn't doing one this year.
The kids had a great time and Oma joined us for the Halloween festivities, though she didn't dress up. The kids got plenty of candy and enjoyed having their Oma with them.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
I Need to Take My Kids Camping...
Observe:
These are pictures of my kids in our backyard. They have built a "fire" (complete with a less than adequate fire ring) and sitting around their fire roasting pine-cones. They were pretending their pine-cones were marshmallows or hot-dogs, but when they were pretending to eat the bigger pine-cones, they were pretending it was corn on the cob. Fun and creative kids.
These are pictures of my kids in our backyard. They have built a "fire" (complete with a less than adequate fire ring) and sitting around their fire roasting pine-cones. They were pretending their pine-cones were marshmallows or hot-dogs, but when they were pretending to eat the bigger pine-cones, they were pretending it was corn on the cob. Fun and creative kids.
Horses!
In moving back to Washington, one of the things that I thought we would miss out on is the "country" aspect that was prevalent surrounding us in Mtn Home, Idaho. We knew several people with horses and had tentative plans/offers to do some riding with them in the Spring/Summer of 2011. I thought we had missed our chance as I was never really exposed to horses at all while growing up in Western Washington. But there are a lot of horses on Whidbey Island. I have a co-worker who does eventing with horses and so she told us about a local event that was going on. We attended this and the kids really enjoyed watching the horses, though Sarah was mostly interested in just being close to any horses that were waiting or done and feeding them or talking to their riders than watching the actual event. It was a lot of fun, however, for the kids.
Soon after, we discovered someone in our ward (church congregation) who trains horses. Miraculously (to us at least) was that he was not only willing to teach Sarah and Nathan, but that he doesn't charge us for it and finds that him teaching them is somehow a benefit to him (he is trying to come up with curriculum on how to teach kids how to train horses... so we are kind of his guinea pigs). We try to do things to help him (clearing rocks out of the fields, clearing trails of debris/sticks, etc) but we have been doing this a couple of times a week for the past 5 months or so. His is a slow process and I think that sometimes Sarah and Nathan (especially the latter) get bored of it sometimes, but they are learning the basics about care and safety around horses and will probably be doing a lot more riding in the near future as Sarah is seeming much more independently comfortable around the horses (especially the pony, whom she works with the most).
Nathan is mostly just observing, playing with sticks or finding grass to feed one of the surrounding horses. He gets a token ride here and there but isn't doing a lot of hands-on stuff as much as Sarah is. But I can tell that he is much more comfortable just being around them and when there is more interest from him and more available time from either me or Larry, I'm sure he will move more quickly than Sarah has. Larry says that Sarah is her "star student" and seems to have a natural comfort around the horses and is responsive to his instruction. I enjoy accompanying the kids each time and I am becoming more comfortable and learning a lot myself about being around horses.
As many other kids out there, Sarah absolutely loves horses! She has numerous books about them and loves reading about them or drawing them. One of the things that Larry has taught us is that horses are very nervous and scared animals and that they are easily spooked. He is teaching us that we need to become good friends with the horses that we work with (through consistent action, strength, and a reassuring verbal tone) so that they can trust us. We then, can become their courage and their hero - these are words and phrases that he uses often with Sarah, in teaching her about these horses. Sarah seems to take pride in her efforts to become a horses hero by being its friend and being consistent, strong, but also respectful. So, much of their time has been spent being around the horses so that they can gain and reflect that confidence so the horse can deservedly trust them. She is doing well and it is fun to watch her grow and learn about herself and the horses that, before now, she only dreamed and read about.
Sarah thoroughly enjoyed going to watch her cousin, Ruby, perform in a recent event in which she did very well. Sarah hopes to be able to do the things that her cousin is able to do in the near future. Jane is very envious of her sister and brother each time we go, but the one time we took her she was very hesitant, scared and tentative to be close or to even touch them. She has a real interest in horses as well, so I imagine down the road, she may be joining us.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Fire Safety
This blog has been long neglected and I don't know if I'll get caught up or give updates as needed. Suffice it to say, we now live in Oak Harbor, WA and have been here since Memorial Day Weekend 2011. Living on Whidbey Island is amazing and we feel like we are constantly surrounded by beauty above and beyond the general beauty that W. Washington provides. Anyway....
We are renting a home (and hope to be here for a while) that has a wonderful wood-burning stove with which we hope to heat our house for the better part of the upcoming colder months. We had our first fire in it this past Sunday evening for fun and it definitely puts off the heat. There seems to be a lot of nostalgia as well when you have a fire going in your house. We are excited about this for sure, just a little worried about our little almost 18-month old Molly.
Because of those concerns and just because it's probably something we should do at some point, we decided to have a "Fire Safety" type FHE this past Monday. I think we were pretty thorough - showing the kids where the smoke alarms are and what the alarm sounds like; talking about crawling if there is a fire in the house, testing a door knob to see how hot it is (I was thinking about Home Alone and The Office while teaching and typing this :); how to open their windows; where to meet outside; how to help each other if needed; etc. Anyway, I thought it was a great lesson/conversation with the kids and they seemed much more attentive to this lesson than many other more typical FHE lessons.
So, once Mary and I felt like we had concluded the info that we wanted to tell them about and after trying to reassure them that the chances of having a fire in our house were slim... the questions began... a lot of "What if..." questions. For example, "What if you both die, then what will we do?" "What if you both die and no one knows that our house burned down, what will we do?" Sarah states, "Should I just walk with the other kids to church on Sunday in my jammies and say 'my house burnt down'?"
None of our children wanted to go to sleep that night... they were very worried about a fire in the house and were very unsure how they would perform if there was a fire and all of the possibilities that could bring about. We tried to reassure them by telling them how many days they had been alive and that they hadn't had a fire yet and it was unlikely to happen. We encouraged them to pray for no fires in the house and to continue to be careful around fire.
Once they were in bed, I realized that I forgot to tell them how flammable mattresses are.... there's always next week!
We are renting a home (and hope to be here for a while) that has a wonderful wood-burning stove with which we hope to heat our house for the better part of the upcoming colder months. We had our first fire in it this past Sunday evening for fun and it definitely puts off the heat. There seems to be a lot of nostalgia as well when you have a fire going in your house. We are excited about this for sure, just a little worried about our little almost 18-month old Molly.
Because of those concerns and just because it's probably something we should do at some point, we decided to have a "Fire Safety" type FHE this past Monday. I think we were pretty thorough - showing the kids where the smoke alarms are and what the alarm sounds like; talking about crawling if there is a fire in the house, testing a door knob to see how hot it is (I was thinking about Home Alone and The Office while teaching and typing this :); how to open their windows; where to meet outside; how to help each other if needed; etc. Anyway, I thought it was a great lesson/conversation with the kids and they seemed much more attentive to this lesson than many other more typical FHE lessons.
So, once Mary and I felt like we had concluded the info that we wanted to tell them about and after trying to reassure them that the chances of having a fire in our house were slim... the questions began... a lot of "What if..." questions. For example, "What if you both die, then what will we do?" "What if you both die and no one knows that our house burned down, what will we do?" Sarah states, "Should I just walk with the other kids to church on Sunday in my jammies and say 'my house burnt down'?"
None of our children wanted to go to sleep that night... they were very worried about a fire in the house and were very unsure how they would perform if there was a fire and all of the possibilities that could bring about. We tried to reassure them by telling them how many days they had been alive and that they hadn't had a fire yet and it was unlikely to happen. We encouraged them to pray for no fires in the house and to continue to be careful around fire.
Once they were in bed, I realized that I forgot to tell them how flammable mattresses are.... there's always next week!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Homeschooling - The Social Question
When people ask me about homeschooling I usually have two very polar opposite feelings. I either feel very annoyed and frustrated or enthusiastic and excited. It all depends on why they are asking in the first place and how much time they really want to spend talking about it. Homeschooling cannot be summed up in a 5 minute conversation and nor can public schooling for that matter. My "favorite" question has go to be the "social" question. I usually find myself at a loss for words not because I don't have a response, but I simply have no idea how in the world to adequately represent my thoughts in a nicely packaged and succinct 30 second response that most people are looking for. In this world of vending machines and instant mashed potatoes we have streamlined everything to such an extreme that most of us don't even know what we mean by catch phrases like "social life" and "socialization" just like we have no idea what a bag of Gardettos is made of. Even a beginning student of linguistics can tell you that every word in the English language is laden with meaning, interpretations, assumptions, associations, positive and negative values, history, etc.. And highly politicized and monetized words like "socialization" are especially dense with such hidden meanings and agendas.
So for those of you who have (or might in the near future) cornered me in the church hallway on my way to the car with three hungry youngsters and a crying baby to ask me the "social question" out of mere passing fancy or sincere interest, here is my response. And please note that this response is my own and not that of the amazing lady down the street who home schooled her nine kids who have since all graduated from Standford summa cum laude or the crazy kids you knew from Montana who couldn't take part in a normal conversation to save their life. Homeschooling families are as diverse as public school families. Here, in brief synopsis, is my story regarding homeschooling and what I think about the "social question".
As a novice homeschooling mom (we only started about a year and a half ago) I am still learning what that means for me and my family. I don't feel like I really was the one who chose to "home school" my children. In fact, for years I was adamantly opposed to it. I wasn't opposed to it because I believed it was a poor choice for my children. I was convinced that it was a poor choice for ME! I think I foresaw the stress, chaos, heartache, disappointment, and sacrifice it would entail and easily determined it was not for me. When faced with the idea I responded with the common phrases "I just couldn't do it", "it's just not right for me", "I know my limits" and I believed it. But in time my loving and patient Heavenly Father exposed those self-deceptions for what they were and made it clear to me that He had a different plan for me and my family. At first, I wasn't too happy for the clarity or "meddling" and once my grumpy rebellion subsided I was left feeling quite overwhelmed. I wish that I could say that the last year and a half has changed that, but I still feel overwhelmed more often than not. What has changed though, is my vision and purpose. I know that I have only gained brief glimpses of the large picture for our family's educational journey but I am grateful for the growth that I have had.
When I was first contemplating the thought of educating my children at home I was relieved to know that there were programs available that could simplify things by minimizing the effort required of me. These programs plan and organize everything for you along the traditional school model and compile it all into one easy "shippable" or "down loadable" package. They are designed to transmit public schooling into the home, exchange the teacher for the parent, and transform the school desk into the kitchen table. It didn't take long for me to realize that this was the wrong choice for us.
Homeschooling for us is not about separating our kids from poor influences and gaining more time as a family, although these are great side benefits. We chose to educate our kids at home because we want to give them a better education with an entirely different objective.
When people ask me the "social question" do they realize what they are really asking? Do they really question if I am capable of meeting the social needs of my children without ready access to a group of 20-30 similarly aged children? I suppose it comes down to what socialization produces.
It appears that many parents firmly believe, whether consciously or unconsciously, that a successfully socialized 2ND grader is a child that acts like a "normal" 7 or 8 year old. Consequently, they assume that no one is better qualified to guide their child's character development to this end than their peers. Perhaps, if I felt bold enough I would start asking these inquisitive parents to list what qualities a typical 8 year old possesses that are:
1. desirable
2. not inherent
3. commonly taught by a group of equally inexperienced children in a loving, encouraging, and safe environment and cannot possibly be taught, modeled, and introduced by a mature and loving parent.
I cannot imagine that the list is very long or that it would even exist to begin with. The fact of the matter is - my goal is not to raise a "normal" 8 year old. I am raising a confident and capable adult.
What is the definition of a capable and successful adult? This is perhaps the greatest disparity between the public school model socialization and what I hope to give my children. Socialization means the process by which an individual inherits norms, customs, and ideologies. Which ones? Quite obviously, the answer is that they will believe and adopt the norms, customs, and ideologies that are taught them and familiar to them. That's why I may not be too overly concerned about my children failing to experience the same degree of socialization that a public schooled child does. "No Thanks! I'll get this one folks." I'd rather spend my time and energy teaching my child correct governing principles than trying to unteach and unentrench the incorrect principles they will glean from teachers, peers, and curriculum. I can't imagine how I would go about knowing what to combat before it was too late.
Additionally, the aim of public schooling socialization is to produce at its completion (high school graduation?) a young adult who will be a contributing member of society. What does that look like? It is a corporate individual who will make a great employee and a ready and eager consumer. It is someone who has mastered how to successfully acquire, internalize, and regurgitate information to ace a test.
Whereas my idea of a successful and capable young adult is someone who will be a contributing member of their family. It is someone who realizes that although employment and material possessions are necessary elements to sustain life they are not the culmination of life. They know that their relationships with others, most especially with their family, are of supreme import and they will live their lives accordingly. They understand that learning is not a means to an end; it is the purpose of life. They will consequently thirst for, seek out, and work their entire life to gain knowledge of application, not regurgitation, by choice not force. Their extensive study of human nature and divine nature guides them in their choices, aspirations, interactions, and self-introspection. They are confident and ready to stand up for what is right and take the lonely road, if necessary, because they know what is right and that such a thing exists. They know how to freely embrace people, not ideas, with loving acceptance. They are happy, content, and satisfied to be called nothing more than brother, sister, mother, father, and friend. This is the goal of my family's "socialization".
This is WHY HE, not ME, decided that my children should be taught in our home. I know that what I have said might make some people uncomfortable or even a bit angry, but I am not going to apologize for what I have said. I am tired of having to feel like I have to apologize for the truth because it makes someone else uncomfortable. This programmed response (I am the product of public schooling after all) has made me worry countless times that what I said was poorly written or heaven forbid even grammatically incorrect. I can almost see that angry reader who will justifiably dismiss my ideas as crazy ramblings because I don't even know the simple basics of when to use a comma instead of a semicolon. I must have misspelled the word "successful" about 5 times and I had no idea how to spell the word "regurgitate". And, yes, I am aware that "unteach" and "unentrench" are not legitimate words but they the perfect choice for what I wanted to express.
Let me repeat it again. I am not going to apologize. What I have said is TRUE for me and my children and what I have decided is RIGHT for my family. I cannot decide what is RIGHT for you - only ONE person can do that for you.
This is the perspective that I have gained over the last year and a half and I am looking forward for what I will learn in the future. My greatest task is to learn HOW to teach my children now that I know WHY I am teaching my children. Wish me luck!
So for those of you who have (or might in the near future) cornered me in the church hallway on my way to the car with three hungry youngsters and a crying baby to ask me the "social question" out of mere passing fancy or sincere interest, here is my response. And please note that this response is my own and not that of the amazing lady down the street who home schooled her nine kids who have since all graduated from Standford summa cum laude or the crazy kids you knew from Montana who couldn't take part in a normal conversation to save their life. Homeschooling families are as diverse as public school families. Here, in brief synopsis, is my story regarding homeschooling and what I think about the "social question".
As a novice homeschooling mom (we only started about a year and a half ago) I am still learning what that means for me and my family. I don't feel like I really was the one who chose to "home school" my children. In fact, for years I was adamantly opposed to it. I wasn't opposed to it because I believed it was a poor choice for my children. I was convinced that it was a poor choice for ME! I think I foresaw the stress, chaos, heartache, disappointment, and sacrifice it would entail and easily determined it was not for me. When faced with the idea I responded with the common phrases "I just couldn't do it", "it's just not right for me", "I know my limits" and I believed it. But in time my loving and patient Heavenly Father exposed those self-deceptions for what they were and made it clear to me that He had a different plan for me and my family. At first, I wasn't too happy for the clarity or "meddling" and once my grumpy rebellion subsided I was left feeling quite overwhelmed. I wish that I could say that the last year and a half has changed that, but I still feel overwhelmed more often than not. What has changed though, is my vision and purpose. I know that I have only gained brief glimpses of the large picture for our family's educational journey but I am grateful for the growth that I have had.
When I was first contemplating the thought of educating my children at home I was relieved to know that there were programs available that could simplify things by minimizing the effort required of me. These programs plan and organize everything for you along the traditional school model and compile it all into one easy "shippable" or "down loadable" package. They are designed to transmit public schooling into the home, exchange the teacher for the parent, and transform the school desk into the kitchen table. It didn't take long for me to realize that this was the wrong choice for us.
Homeschooling for us is not about separating our kids from poor influences and gaining more time as a family, although these are great side benefits. We chose to educate our kids at home because we want to give them a better education with an entirely different objective.
When people ask me the "social question" do they realize what they are really asking? Do they really question if I am capable of meeting the social needs of my children without ready access to a group of 20-30 similarly aged children? I suppose it comes down to what socialization produces.
It appears that many parents firmly believe, whether consciously or unconsciously, that a successfully socialized 2ND grader is a child that acts like a "normal" 7 or 8 year old. Consequently, they assume that no one is better qualified to guide their child's character development to this end than their peers. Perhaps, if I felt bold enough I would start asking these inquisitive parents to list what qualities a typical 8 year old possesses that are:
1. desirable
2. not inherent
3. commonly taught by a group of equally inexperienced children in a loving, encouraging, and safe environment and cannot possibly be taught, modeled, and introduced by a mature and loving parent.
I cannot imagine that the list is very long or that it would even exist to begin with. The fact of the matter is - my goal is not to raise a "normal" 8 year old. I am raising a confident and capable adult.
What is the definition of a capable and successful adult? This is perhaps the greatest disparity between the public school model socialization and what I hope to give my children. Socialization means the process by which an individual inherits norms, customs, and ideologies. Which ones? Quite obviously, the answer is that they will believe and adopt the norms, customs, and ideologies that are taught them and familiar to them. That's why I may not be too overly concerned about my children failing to experience the same degree of socialization that a public schooled child does. "No Thanks! I'll get this one folks." I'd rather spend my time and energy teaching my child correct governing principles than trying to unteach and unentrench the incorrect principles they will glean from teachers, peers, and curriculum. I can't imagine how I would go about knowing what to combat before it was too late.
Additionally, the aim of public schooling socialization is to produce at its completion (high school graduation?) a young adult who will be a contributing member of society. What does that look like? It is a corporate individual who will make a great employee and a ready and eager consumer. It is someone who has mastered how to successfully acquire, internalize, and regurgitate information to ace a test.
Whereas my idea of a successful and capable young adult is someone who will be a contributing member of their family. It is someone who realizes that although employment and material possessions are necessary elements to sustain life they are not the culmination of life. They know that their relationships with others, most especially with their family, are of supreme import and they will live their lives accordingly. They understand that learning is not a means to an end; it is the purpose of life. They will consequently thirst for, seek out, and work their entire life to gain knowledge of application, not regurgitation, by choice not force. Their extensive study of human nature and divine nature guides them in their choices, aspirations, interactions, and self-introspection. They are confident and ready to stand up for what is right and take the lonely road, if necessary, because they know what is right and that such a thing exists. They know how to freely embrace people, not ideas, with loving acceptance. They are happy, content, and satisfied to be called nothing more than brother, sister, mother, father, and friend. This is the goal of my family's "socialization".
This is WHY HE, not ME, decided that my children should be taught in our home. I know that what I have said might make some people uncomfortable or even a bit angry, but I am not going to apologize for what I have said. I am tired of having to feel like I have to apologize for the truth because it makes someone else uncomfortable. This programmed response (I am the product of public schooling after all) has made me worry countless times that what I said was poorly written or heaven forbid even grammatically incorrect. I can almost see that angry reader who will justifiably dismiss my ideas as crazy ramblings because I don't even know the simple basics of when to use a comma instead of a semicolon. I must have misspelled the word "successful" about 5 times and I had no idea how to spell the word "regurgitate". And, yes, I am aware that "unteach" and "unentrench" are not legitimate words but they the perfect choice for what I wanted to express.
Let me repeat it again. I am not going to apologize. What I have said is TRUE for me and my children and what I have decided is RIGHT for my family. I cannot decide what is RIGHT for you - only ONE person can do that for you.
This is the perspective that I have gained over the last year and a half and I am looking forward for what I will learn in the future. My greatest task is to learn HOW to teach my children now that I know WHY I am teaching my children. Wish me luck!
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Missing My Family
I've only been separated from Mary and the kids for about two weeks now, though it seems longer than that. We've been separated for longer than this but knowing that there is no firm end in sight makes it difficult. It's also hard knowing that it's much harder on Mary with four kids that, on their own, miss their daddy. As I begin my new job working with service members in the Navy and having made friends with many in the Air Force, I know that what my family is experiencing isn't as stressful nor will it be as long as the deployments that those families in the Armed Forces deal with. Nonetheless, it's hard for us. Mary and I enjoy connecting each evening and it's just not the same over the phone. Oftentimes, we will talk about our days in the afternoon/evening and that information comes out in snippets. But it's not like I'm going to call again and say "Oh yeah, this happened too" or "this was funny today at work..." or whatever. We don't remember everything about our days that we would like to share with one another when we are actually having our phone conversations in the evening. This makes that emotional connecting not as close or as easy as we would both like.
Last week, Mary called me and it was around 10 pm in Idaho. She said that Sarah had been crying on and off since she had gone to bed around 8ish. So, I talked to her on the phone and talked about how I missed her and such. When I asked her "What is it that you miss about me" she seemed confused by my question. When I clarified my question she said "I just miss YOU Daddy!" I really miss her too!
Today, I called my family after church and was speaking with Mary and then Jane came in the room. Mary put me on speaker phone so that she and Jane could both talk to me. Nathan was in a different room and didn't know that Mary was on the phone with me. He heard my voice and yelped, excitedly "Daddy's home!" and then got pretty sad when he came in to the room and saw that his mom and sister were on the phone with me. Mary had to do some comforting of a sad little boy.
I sure miss that cute family of mine. I pray that our house will sale soon....
To bridge some of this gap and let my kids know that I'm thinking of them, I have written them a couple of letters to each of them individually. I think they'll get one tomorrow or Tues. We also enjoy occasionally talking via Skype. I usually get goofy faces from Nathan and Jane can't stay in the picture, but otherwise it's fun.
Last week, Mary called me and it was around 10 pm in Idaho. She said that Sarah had been crying on and off since she had gone to bed around 8ish. So, I talked to her on the phone and talked about how I missed her and such. When I asked her "What is it that you miss about me" she seemed confused by my question. When I clarified my question she said "I just miss YOU Daddy!" I really miss her too!
Today, I called my family after church and was speaking with Mary and then Jane came in the room. Mary put me on speaker phone so that she and Jane could both talk to me. Nathan was in a different room and didn't know that Mary was on the phone with me. He heard my voice and yelped, excitedly "Daddy's home!" and then got pretty sad when he came in to the room and saw that his mom and sister were on the phone with me. Mary had to do some comforting of a sad little boy.
I sure miss that cute family of mine. I pray that our house will sale soon....
To bridge some of this gap and let my kids know that I'm thinking of them, I have written them a couple of letters to each of them individually. I think they'll get one tomorrow or Tues. We also enjoy occasionally talking via Skype. I usually get goofy faces from Nathan and Jane can't stay in the picture, but otherwise it's fun.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
House For SALE
Jeff has a new job and we are moving to Oak Harbor, WA. We are excited to come closer to home and family, but sad at leaving all of our friends that have become our "family away from home" over the past 3 1/2 years.
Our house goes on the market today and we are hoping that it won't take too long to sell. Feel free to view the blog that I created to showcase our home and if you know anyone looking in Mountain Home please forward it on. http://fromours2yours.blogspot.com The sooner it sells the sooner we can be together as a family. Fingers crossed . . .
We're All Out of Rice Crispies!
When I came out of my room this morning - this is what I saw:
Sarah and Nathan eating out of the same bowl of cereal. Hmmm, curious?
I asked them what they were doing and Sarah informed me that Nathan came out for breakfast shortly after she started eating hers. He was very disappointed to find that the Rice Crispies were all gone! What is to be done? Apparently Sarah's solution was that they share hers. How Cute! It's nice to wake up when your children are being so sweet and loving instead of grumpy and bickering. Here's a picture of them finishing up - notice the spilled milk :)
Sarah and Nathan eating out of the same bowl of cereal. Hmmm, curious?
I asked them what they were doing and Sarah informed me that Nathan came out for breakfast shortly after she started eating hers. He was very disappointed to find that the Rice Crispies were all gone! What is to be done? Apparently Sarah's solution was that they share hers. How Cute! It's nice to wake up when your children are being so sweet and loving instead of grumpy and bickering. Here's a picture of them finishing up - notice the spilled milk :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To
Today's my birthday and I can't seem to decide what to think about it. Part of me wishes that we could ignore it altogether - 100% and the other part of me wants to be spoiled 100%. Why does being an adult have to be so complicated?
I spent the first half of my morning prayer crying because I feel so disappointed with myself. Another year has gone by and I am still struggling with the same weaknesses and I feel like I haven't improved at all.The second half of my prayer I spent crying because I felt so incredibly grateful for the countless blessings of my life.
An hour later I am crying again as I clean the kitchen because I have to clean the kitchen, because the kids won't leave me alone, because baby Molly won't stop screaming, because it's 11:15 and I haven't had a chance to eat breakfast yet or brush my teeth, etc. etc... am I becoming Bipolar???
I am stressed because of finances and sad because I had to order Jeff to not get me anything for my birthday. Part of me feels like it's not fair that I have to be the one to sacrifice once again. And yet the other part of me chimes up "that's life as an adult" and I feel grateful that despite our stresses we could afford to get our children a gift for Christmas when so many other people have nothing. We have a home to live in, we're warm, and even if the grocery budget is strained we have food to eat (healthy, nutritious, delicious food)!
What is it that compels me to think that just because the earth happens to have orbited around the sun 31 times to the same general location that it was at when I was born that now the stars should align to give me stress free, responsibility free day?? Why do I feel entitled to receive gifts that excite and surprise? Why do I feel like my children should magically disappear or at least be charming, peaceful, and totally self reliant for MY special day? Perhaps, I can learn to be a little less self absorbed if I give myself another 31 years... perhaps.
At any rate- thanks for listening! Thanks for letting me say all the things that I don't feel like I should say, the things that etiquette tells me are not proper responses to the obligatory "happy birthday phone calls." I am going to try to regroup and forget myself today. I am going to read to my kids and play games with them. I am going to try to focus on all of my blessings especially the gift of my Savior, Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father. And I am going to go eat a piece of cake for breakfast and give Molly a does of Tylenol - after all it is MY birthday.
I spent the first half of my morning prayer crying because I feel so disappointed with myself. Another year has gone by and I am still struggling with the same weaknesses and I feel like I haven't improved at all.The second half of my prayer I spent crying because I felt so incredibly grateful for the countless blessings of my life.
An hour later I am crying again as I clean the kitchen because I have to clean the kitchen, because the kids won't leave me alone, because baby Molly won't stop screaming, because it's 11:15 and I haven't had a chance to eat breakfast yet or brush my teeth, etc. etc... am I becoming Bipolar???
I am stressed because of finances and sad because I had to order Jeff to not get me anything for my birthday. Part of me feels like it's not fair that I have to be the one to sacrifice once again. And yet the other part of me chimes up "that's life as an adult" and I feel grateful that despite our stresses we could afford to get our children a gift for Christmas when so many other people have nothing. We have a home to live in, we're warm, and even if the grocery budget is strained we have food to eat (healthy, nutritious, delicious food)!
What is it that compels me to think that just because the earth happens to have orbited around the sun 31 times to the same general location that it was at when I was born that now the stars should align to give me stress free, responsibility free day?? Why do I feel entitled to receive gifts that excite and surprise? Why do I feel like my children should magically disappear or at least be charming, peaceful, and totally self reliant for MY special day? Perhaps, I can learn to be a little less self absorbed if I give myself another 31 years... perhaps.
At any rate- thanks for listening! Thanks for letting me say all the things that I don't feel like I should say, the things that etiquette tells me are not proper responses to the obligatory "happy birthday phone calls." I am going to try to regroup and forget myself today. I am going to read to my kids and play games with them. I am going to try to focus on all of my blessings especially the gift of my Savior, Jesus Christ and the love of my Heavenly Father. And I am going to go eat a piece of cake for breakfast and give Molly a does of Tylenol - after all it is MY birthday.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Bishop Rhead
I just felt like I needed to talk about the Bishop in our ward right now. His name is Daryl Rhead and he's about as quirky as they could possibly come. Let me explain... frequently, a conversation will just begin with him and you and you will already feel like you missed the first five minutes of the conversation... even though it just began. He speaks in a way that is like our stream of consciousness in our mind, but his is verbal. Another thing: as a side job, he's an auctioneer! Another: he renames peoples' kids... all the time. He called Jane Darral (somehow he made this sound feminine) Jaramillo (the last name of our good friends). I don't know why he does this, but he does. An even odder renaming: He called one kid in our ward Nueve ('9' in Spanish - the celestial language according to him). Why, you might ask, did he call him Nueve? Here is the explanation. This particular kid, about 2 years old, is stocky and thick and is just a hefty kid. Because of this, Bishop though he looked like a line-backer. In Bishops opinion, the best linebacker out there is Brian Urlacher, who wears number 54. 5 + 4 = 9. Nine in Spanish is Nueve, this makes perfect sense to him. Anyway, I'm certainly not writing this post to point out his numerous quirks, but he is quirky.
He has been our Bishop for almost 1.5 years. When he was called, I think a lot of people were surprised. I was. Few people would have picked him, if that's how it worked in the church. Fortunately these callings come from inspiration. In fact, today in sacrament meeting, his wife said that he sometimes tells her that he knows he was called of the Lord because no one else would have ever chosen him. In all honesty, I found him very annoying when I first got to know him. But the more I got to know him, the more I understood his heart. I think a lot of Bishops are somewhat similar... good at administrating and ministering in the church. Bishop Rhead is not a very good administrator, it's an area that he struggles in, admittedly. And this is something that can frustrate people at times.
But here is the thing about him, he's absolutely amazing. I think his faith is bigger than a mustard seed, I really do. He has such a love for people. He calls every single member of our ward on their birthdays - from the kids to the adults, without fail. On Saturdays, while Sarah was in soccer, I frequently saw him roaming the fields to talk to parents of kids in his ward and to watch the kids play soccer for a few minutes. I remember sitting next to a gal in our Stake at one of Sarah's soccer games. She was there with her mom, who was in town. When Bishop Rhead came up and said hi to me and then talked to this gal, she introduced him to her mom as "The Bishop who goes to everything". This is a soccer field that has probably 5 different games going on, that start every hour or so. He'll spend a couple of hours at the games there to catch as many of the kids that he can in games and then say, "well, I gotta head over the baseball fields because _________, and ____________, and _______ have baseball games today" and off he goes. And, it absolutely isn't about him, but he wants the kids to know that their Bishop cares about them, because he represents the Lord. He came to Sarah's dance recital. He isn't necessarily very good with words, in fact sometimes it's hard to keep up with him. But the way that he bares his testimony is by living it.
When one of our Young Men was in the hospital in a coma in Boise, he was probably there about 3-4 times a week, I bet. Shortly after he became Bishop, he found out that one of the widows in our ward (an amazing 85 year old) was somewhat disappointed that she hadn't had the opportunity to serve a mission - something that it said in her patriarchal blessing that she would do. So he had an appt set up with her a short time later. She didn't feel, due to her health that there were more than a couple of callings in the WARD that she could do at the time. But when he met with her, he called her to serve a full-time mission... which she has been doing for about a year now, down in Salt Lake City. He has a lot of faith.
I am grateful that I get to serve closely with him as I serve with the Priests in the ward. He has so many of the qualities that I lack and need so badly in my life. I hope that I can pick up a few of these qualities from him as I continue to serve with him and get to see him serve. He is a man that I have grown to love and appreciate and, I hope someday, in some ways, emulate.
He has been our Bishop for almost 1.5 years. When he was called, I think a lot of people were surprised. I was. Few people would have picked him, if that's how it worked in the church. Fortunately these callings come from inspiration. In fact, today in sacrament meeting, his wife said that he sometimes tells her that he knows he was called of the Lord because no one else would have ever chosen him. In all honesty, I found him very annoying when I first got to know him. But the more I got to know him, the more I understood his heart. I think a lot of Bishops are somewhat similar... good at administrating and ministering in the church. Bishop Rhead is not a very good administrator, it's an area that he struggles in, admittedly. And this is something that can frustrate people at times.
But here is the thing about him, he's absolutely amazing. I think his faith is bigger than a mustard seed, I really do. He has such a love for people. He calls every single member of our ward on their birthdays - from the kids to the adults, without fail. On Saturdays, while Sarah was in soccer, I frequently saw him roaming the fields to talk to parents of kids in his ward and to watch the kids play soccer for a few minutes. I remember sitting next to a gal in our Stake at one of Sarah's soccer games. She was there with her mom, who was in town. When Bishop Rhead came up and said hi to me and then talked to this gal, she introduced him to her mom as "The Bishop who goes to everything". This is a soccer field that has probably 5 different games going on, that start every hour or so. He'll spend a couple of hours at the games there to catch as many of the kids that he can in games and then say, "well, I gotta head over the baseball fields because _________, and ____________, and _______ have baseball games today" and off he goes. And, it absolutely isn't about him, but he wants the kids to know that their Bishop cares about them, because he represents the Lord. He came to Sarah's dance recital. He isn't necessarily very good with words, in fact sometimes it's hard to keep up with him. But the way that he bares his testimony is by living it.
When one of our Young Men was in the hospital in a coma in Boise, he was probably there about 3-4 times a week, I bet. Shortly after he became Bishop, he found out that one of the widows in our ward (an amazing 85 year old) was somewhat disappointed that she hadn't had the opportunity to serve a mission - something that it said in her patriarchal blessing that she would do. So he had an appt set up with her a short time later. She didn't feel, due to her health that there were more than a couple of callings in the WARD that she could do at the time. But when he met with her, he called her to serve a full-time mission... which she has been doing for about a year now, down in Salt Lake City. He has a lot of faith.
I am grateful that I get to serve closely with him as I serve with the Priests in the ward. He has so many of the qualities that I lack and need so badly in my life. I hope that I can pick up a few of these qualities from him as I continue to serve with him and get to see him serve. He is a man that I have grown to love and appreciate and, I hope someday, in some ways, emulate.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Sarah & Jane!
I just love these two kids. Sarah is getting so big and is growing up so fast. She is maturing and learning so much right now... it's hard to keep up. Jane is at that magical age that I absolutely adore and (for the most part) can't get enough of. Whenever it's bedtime and we're singing Sarah her bedtime song, Jane will always insist on laying in Sarah's bed, right next to her, under the covers. This is usually adorable, but sometimes there is the (understandable, at times) complaining from Sarah ("You're on my hair", "OUCH", "Jane just hit me", etc.). But usually they enjoy these few moments each night where they get to cuddle or where they both get their backs-scratched while I sing them a song (that's daddy multi-tasking!). I love bedtime for many reasons, but it seems that our kids can be the sweetest when they are tired and just enjoying the process of being put in bed. Anyway, we caught some fun times with these girls before bed time one night recently. Enjoy!
Sarah's Dance Class '09-'10
Sarah participated in a dance class that was put together and ran by some of our friends. The class was held every Monday afternoon and Sarah really enjoyed and looked forward to these classes. She had her dance recital in late March on a Saturday afternoon. We invited some of our friends to come and watch the performance. Our Bishop and his wife were there, of course.
Afterward, they had a little potluck dinner. We got Sarah some roses which she really enjoyed. She was very articulate in her dancing. She loved practicing at home and would often be found in her room playing her dance CD for her brother and sister while trying to teach them the dances. She would get frustrated when they wouldn't get it. She is such a fun big sis! We look forward to this starting next year again. Her, teacher, Emily J. did such a good job and has such a passion for both dancing and kids, we are lucky to have her in our ward! Thanks Emily! A couple of weeks after the class ended, Sarah remarked how much she missed going to dance class on Monday afternoons.
This is the group of girls that Sarah danced with. These are all girls that Sarah enjoys spending time with outside of dance. Two have since moved :( That is Emily J with them. This was their dance number to the song "Good Ship Lollipop"
This is Sarah's group after the recital posing for pics
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